by Norm Oswald and Family

Norm Oswald, a host dad in Oregon, shares about his family's experience of hosting 3 AFS exchange students.

"What? You’re thinking about adding another teenager to your life? Are you crazy?"

No, just open to new experiences. In fact, our family has tried it three times already. We’re not experts yet, but we do know something about the discoveries, pains, and triumphs of hosting an AFS student.

Four years ago when we first considered the idea, our three girls were unanimous: they already knew more than enough about having sisters; they wanted to try having a brother. We chose Yahm, a boy from Thailand. This act began what our family now calls the Meeting Stage of the AFS experience. It included: worries (A whole year? Our cultures are so different! What if we can't stand him?); an exchange of letters and photographs (He doesn’t look so bad!); a surprise phone call from Thailand (Wow! He really can speak English!); and that huge moment of truth when we actually picked him up (A grin, a sly wave, and then a huge hug—things are going to be okay!).

With all three of our AFS students, the second stage—the Phase of Discoveries—began soon after we met them. There are so many things to discover when you gain an instant teenager: what his parents look like, what he wants to eat for snacks, what teenage life is like in his culture, whether he prefers to pet our dog or our cats, how long his morning showers take -- and who is going to end up teasing whom. This is a wonderful period typified by looking at photo albums and talking late into the night. There are always particular questions to be answered: the rest of us like camping at Hosmer Lake where the dust is deep, the outhouses old, and no water is available -- but will he?

Life with an AFS student, like life with anyone else, is not always free of difficult moments. Our second student (after the cry of "We still know enough about sisters!") was a Brazilian boy named Tiago. With our oldest daughter Jocelyn now living away from home, Tiago became a devoted older brother to Laura and Melissa. He quickly became good at playing the drum set we rented for him and he generally fit quite well into the rhythm of our family, too. In Brazil, however, Tiago was used to having girlfriends and leaving at 11:00 p.m. for night-long parties at the disco. While he was part of our family, there were some arguments and occasionally hurt feelings over such things as curfews and parties. However, as Jean puts it, "He made us deal with some issues we hadn’t had to deal with before," but which we might have to deal with in the future. Besides, it is actually through conflict and its resolution that the strongest of relationships are formed: one AFS student (not in Roseburg) has been quoted as saying, "I never really felt a part of the family until my host mom yelled at me."

The best thing about an AFS experience is its triumphs. Our third student is Emilien, a boy from France. In the six months he has been with us, he has accomplished an astonishing amount. Coming here as an only child in a quiet family of adults, he has learned to live with two (sometimes three) sisters, as well as five cats and a dog. Helping out with house work is nothing, now! Above all, he has overcome the frustration and fatigue of struggling for months with a foreign language. He came to us with far less English than our other students; yet now he talks with the best of them. We also experienced the triumphs of our previous students: Yahm became a forensics oratory champion and, by transcending his culture, learned to have a more informal "Western" relationship with females; Tiago became a fine skier (never having seen snow before) and learned that he could go beyond "dear girlfriends" to having girls as dear friends.

Finally, we have discovered that the AFS experience does not end with the AFS year. Two years ago Jean and Laura briefly visited Yahm and his family, and became part of a tiny Thai village in a way no ordinary tourist ever could. Last summer all of us spent a month in Brazil, becoming so much closer to Tiago’s exuberant family -- and trying out those discos! I’m also sure that, not too long from now, a trip to France will find us sharing champagne and brie with Emilien and his parents in their remodeled 18th century cottage.

No, we don’t think we’re crazy to add a teenager to our lives. We expect to have more discoveries, rough moments, and triumphs with AFS. We have a bigger family now, you know.

Hosting a student from another country in your home can be one of the richest, and most rewarding experiences of your life.

AFS is thankful to the Oswalds for sharing their story.

We're providing biographies of AFS exchange students so that you can envision what it would be like to share your day to day life with a new family member. Below are examples of students who will be participating with AFS.

Frederik from Germany: Frederik enjoys playing the guitar everyday, playing basketball twice a week, and windsurfing on the weekends. He also likes classical dancing and hopes to continue his hobbies abroad. Frederik would like to study mechanical engineering in the future. Frederik's teacher says he is an active, interested, and well motivated student. In addition, he is well liked by his classmates and teachers. He feels he is cooperative and determined when pursuing a goal. Frederik lives with his father, mother, and older brother. His older sister is currently living in Australia. The family enjoys traveling on holidays and sharing common interests such as windsurfing, mountain biking, and shopping.

Gabriela from Mexico: Gabriela, who also goes by Gaby, loves to dance, especially flamenco. She likes to perform at least once a year to show the progress she has made. Gaby enjoys taking care of her two dogs. In the future, Gaby would like to study tourism management. Gaby describes herself as funny, honest, and responsible. Her parent's say she likes to be around people, has many friends, and has good relationships with everyone. Gaby's teacher feels she is a good student who is always happy and enthusiastic. Gaby lives with her father, a doctor, and mother, a nurse. She has an older brother who participated in an AFS program and currently lives in Florida. The family is close and likes to travel when they can.