5/8/2008 - Teen must leave his family for 2nd time
By Jessica Bock
ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH
ST. CHARLES — The exchange students stepped off the van from a recent weekend trip together and went their separate ways, reuniting with their host families.
Before Vinicius Caixeta left for his home in St. Charles with the Corey and Sherry Fortney family, a friend gave him two things: a box of cornflakes and a goodbye hug.
The cornflakes are a favorite of his, but he almost forgot them in the van. The hug was the first of many farewells he will say in the next seven weeks as he prepares to leave St. Charles. Soon, Vinicius, 17, will return to his home in Brazil.
“It’s going to be really hard to say goodbye,” Vinicius said. “That’s the bad part of the exchange.”
But before it’s time to say his final farewells, there’s graduation, last-minute sightseeing (he still has to visit the Arch) and packing.
“A lot of kids broke down during the weekend because it hit them: They’re leaving,” said Diane Gambill, who served as a kind of therapist during a session for host parents while their exchange students were away on the weekend trip earlier this month. “Basically, from here on out it’s all about support, for you and your student.”
After filling the parental role since the students arrived last summer, many host parents will get “empty nest” syndrome after their students depart, Gambill said. And before they leave, some students begin to put up a wall between them and their host family, she said. They have conflicting emotions — sadness about leaving but excitement about going home, she said.
Her advice for the host parents: Talk about it. Keep those feelings out in the open during the next several weeks.
Besides the daunting task of sorting through a year’s worth of clothes, schoolwork and memorabilia, shipping some and packing the rest, Vinicius has to prepare himself mentally. There’s the culture shock of going home to Brazil, where his friends and family have lived a year of their lives without him. And his life has changed, too. He’s more mature and responsible after traveling to another continent and immersing himself in the culture for a year. That takes guts, and he knows it.
“I’ve got higher self-esteem,” he said. “I learned English and I got good grades. When I come back home, my mom’s going to freak out and be like, ‘That’s not my Vini.’ I’m a completely different person.”
This school year, AFS Intercultural Programs and other groups brought dozens of students to study in the St. Louis area. AFS alone arranged for 26 students from 16 countries to spend their school year in the St. Louis region.
Some of the families that hosted exchange students through AFS in the St. Louis area will host again next year. Some will take a year off, perhaps serving as a liaison to another host family and student, as Gambill did for Vinicius this year.
After spending the past eight months opening their home and their lives to Vinicius, Corey Fortney says his family will definitely host another student sometime in the future. The experience has taught them a lot about themselves and another culture, he said. Fortney said showing Vinicius the sights of the St. Louis area made them appreciate what they otherwise might take for granted.
“It’s something you really can’t explain unless you experience it yourself,” Fortney said. “But it’s been great.”
They haven’t determined what they’ll do during the last couple of days with Vinicius in America. They also don’t know how his departure will affect their 6-year-old son Evan, who has been like a little brother to Vinicius. They play video games together.
“He’ll say goodbye, but when he realizes he’s not coming back, that will be hard,” Fortney said.
The Fortneys have fed and cared for their exchange student like one of the family. They’ve also answered lots of questions — Vinicius is known for asking about different English words and phrases, places he visits and the ways things are done in America.
The weekend trip to Lake of the Ozarks was the last time the exchange students will get together before late June, when they will leave St. Louis on a bus to Chicago. To mark the nearing end of their year in America, some of the students put together an impromptu awards ceremony by the campfire to announce “notables,” kind of like in a senior class yearbook.
The award for Vinicius? “Most inquisitive.”
This article was originally published here.
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