6/18/2007 - AFS parents know it's a small world

The Examiner-Eastern Jackson County Missouri Online
Trevor Hayes

Kids are scattered around globe

Plates adorn the broad wooden table. All three members of the Eubanks family bow their heads for grace. It is the picturesque American family dinner, except for one thing.

The youngest member of the family is not a Christian. Her last name is not actually Eubanks. And she is not an American.

Akemi Shibuta is a Japanese foreign exchange student. But she is a member of the Eubanks family. She calls Ruthanne and Dennie mom and dad.

But Shibuta’s stay will be over in a few short weeks when she returns to Japan. She came to America last fall through AFS Intercultural Programs, and she is the Eubanks’ 10th foreign exchange student.

AFS, which stands for American Field Service, originated in 1914 as a volunteer ambulance service during World War I. Today it is the most experienced international student exchange organization with more than 50 countries and 30,000 volunteers involved.

The AFS Web site asks “Did you know that the world can fit into your home?” The Eubanks home is an easy illustration.

Trinkets from around the world sit neatly on the wall unit that the Eubankses’ television sits on. They remind them of their extended family – a boy in France, a Dane, a Belgian, a Swede, a pair of Australians, a pair of Spaniards, and a Norwegian.

Flags decorate a bedroom. Pictures are in the living room. And a collage tracing their latest trip to visit children in Europe serve as a constant reminders of the far-flung Eubanks clan.

“We do it because we love children and we definitely wanted to experience the rest of the world,” Ruthanne said.

The Eubankses didn’t start hosting with AFS. In 1985, they were referred to a foreign exchange program which placed the students in school outside of the Independence School District. Then in the 1987-1988 school year, they started hosting with AFS because they wanted their exchange students to go to high school with their own two daughters.

A few years after the second of their daughters graduated from Truman High School in 1995, they decided to stop hosting. Their last student graduated from Truman in 1997.

They worked as regional representatives, and it took them a full 10 years to host another student. The Eubanks said it was partially because the AFS community wanted them to be involved again. But also, in Independence the district commits to taking a set number of students.

“We felt like it was important (for the student) to have a sibling,” Dennie said. “When we were hosting so much, we felt like we were taking someone else’s opportunity. But if it means a student can’t come, then we will host.”

Dennie said the experience students receive in America is one that should not be denied simply because there aren’t enough host families. He said the cultural exchange is too important.

“The government isn’t in the feelings of people,” Dennie said. “Certainly, in hosting exchange students, you overcome any prejudices you may have had. You start to see the individual and not the group.”

Dennie said once his family started to get to know their students, the way they saw the world changed. His perspective became more personal.

“There are a lot of similarities in people around the world, and we can see that,” he said. “When something happens, we can empathize with those people.”

For the Eubankses, events like the train bombing in Madrid or the tsunami in the Pacific hit much closer to home. Instead of people on the other side of the globe dealing with those hardships, four of their AFS children were affected.

“It makes the world a very small world when you think about it,” Ruthanne said. “I’ve always asked ‘what is it like in your house, how is it where you come from?’”

While the Eubankses go to church almost every Sunday, they have never told a student they had to go as well. Only a few of their students have not gone. Shibuta, a Buddhist, has gone to church most days her parents have. She wanted to get the experience, and they encouraged her in the endeavor.

Some lessons, however, have not been as warmly received when they happened. On at least two occasions the simple act of getting home from school caused problems.

“When I first came here, I missed the bus once and I tried to call mom and dad but I couldn’t do it, so I walked from school to home for over three hours,” Shibuta said. “I missed the number, and I couldn’t ask people, so I just walked.”

On another occasion, Ruthanne came to pick up Shibuta, but she was not at the usual meeting place. After checking around the school, she went back home to see if Shibuta had gone there. Shibuta had gone to an after-school meeting and forgotten to tell her parents. Eventually, one of the Eubanks’ older daughters picked her up.

“It was funny because we laughed after it,” Ruthanne said. “We’ve laughed at a lot of different things. Sometimes she laughs and we don’t laugh or we laugh and she doesn’t.”

With Shibuta’s days counting down, the Eubanks will be sad to see her go, but they know they will see her again. With family spread across the globe, it is only a matter of time before they take their fourth trip to Europe, fly over the Pacific or one of their old students comes to see them.

And the Eubanks have decided to expand their family even further for the coming school year. Plans are in place for their 11th foreign exchange student.

“You don’t know what to expect,” Ruthanne said. “It’s more than being just a mom or a dad. You have to work on more than that because you are more than that.”

Republished with permission.

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